Ageless Age with Edge

Ageless Age with Edge
welcomes you twofold

Monday 5 November 2007

Elfin Antics

While Sleeping on Monday morning, the Eighteenth of January, 2005,

I Dream: I attend a No Underwear Party in a thickly forested neighbourhood bordering Lake Mendota. The streets have been 'walled off' to form a maze in which each street is a walled corridor leading to a walled park. Representatives from all Madison Community Co-ops are preening in their finest buff. I can't understand why I'm present at all, even less why I seem appropriately dressed for the affair: I arrive half-dressed, en route from a romantic picnic on a big sunny boulder. It's embarrrassing enough to be half nude, but my nude half was everything below a shirt which was just long enough to cover my doodle if I walked upright. But this is the perfect attire for the Game of the Evening: LIMBO. I look over to see people walking horizontally with their thighs thrust forward. Their upper bodies are thrown back so they don't bump their breasts on the pole. Some of the thicker fertile female thighs I look at in contemplation...until I'm wakened from my reverie by name-calling -- my own name, that is. The others all seem to have found ways of strapping their shirts or skirts or cut-out pants so as to hide their crotches. Now I'm in a jim-jam. I stoop down, yank off my socks, and tie each sock to one of my upper thighs wrapped in a scrunched up bit of my shirt.

I've not tested this in waking life, but even Mr Bean would struggle with this winkle cover. I'm obliged to any Readers who have tried this, waking or dreaming

I'm done with the party and have retired to my room. I hear little knocks at my door. Looking through the looksy-hole, I see an army of little people removing their tiddley shoes in front of my door. They know they are not allowed to enter my Lair-Den shod. Off all shoes must come and they know it. One or two of the Big People pop up as group guides, but then pitter-patter away downstairs. I stand hidden behind the door as I tilt it open in half welcome. Then I bounce back to my bed and wait, now stark naked, poised like a wolf. When the whole crowd get all the way into my room, I spring up and out of my covers with a "BOO!"
All twelve of them leap back in terror, bouncing as one body in panic out the door where they stand still as stones with crooned necks and gawping eyes. Like fertive squirrels, they measure and tip-toe their way down the stairs until every man jack of them is standing one landing below, staring up at me in astonishment. Everyone but their shoes! Many many wee wee shoes. . . . I gather them all up into my room and close the door part-way. Then, shoe by shoe and pair by pair, I spring back out the door. Each time, I place a shoe assiduously next to another shoe in a long straight line. I politely close the door, get another shoe. Softly open the door, then BOING! Gently open the door, then SPRING! I leap out with shoes. I place each shoe and shoe pair down fastidiously. Fast as a mongoose out the door, then slow as a buddhist I set a shoe down, while the tommyknockers gaze up at me maniacly. Fast out I go, slow down shoe goes. Fast out, slow down. Soon all the shoes stand in a row in the hall. Softly I foot it back to bed and sleep.